This is something I have yet to admit and it’s something that I’m ashamed of, but I feel like I need to say it somewhere. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve been eating, and I order online, and it used to be a cinch, now I feel like I barely fit into my clothes and it’s scary. I just want to shrink, and there’s not other way other than a diet change and some exercise.

Here’s the thing… I’m terrified about how I’m going to look after. What if even then I’m not happy with myself? What if I still feel like I’m ugly? I’ve been the self-proclaimed “juicy” girl for so long that I don’t know what to do, how I’m going to identify myself, if it’ll make me happy… I’m so conflicted and it’s scary and horrible and I feel like the ugliest girl with so much to give, and I have the most amazing boyfriend and I feel like he deserves the most amazing girl, and I know I’m that for him, but I want to love myself so he knows that he has someone as amazing as he thinks. I’m really lost and I need help.

Dear Psychic that Approached me on the street,

I don’t need to be reminded about how hopeless I am or how lonely I am. You need a new marketing strategy.

-Me. 

=\ I post a picture of myself and what? I like to think im a nice person… Worth a little love…
This might sound pathetic, but sometimes I wonder if the days I feel really pretty is just my eyes playing a trick on me.

And that’s okay. 

I post pictures of myself and log off immediately so I don’t have to see it get 0 likes.
Shopping only made me realize how much I have to work on myself and my self image.
After so much progress… I’m back to square one. Ugly. And it really sucks.

Dressing rooms.
I’ll walk in with what I believe is something I’ll walk out with… Everything becomes “goal clothes”, clothing I believe I need a hotter body to wear… And I’m gonna work for it.
And I don’t think I’m that bad, but I just walk away feeling so fat and ugly and worthless… Damned insecurities.